This week had a wonderful gift in the middle, when I found that my photo from last week had been chosen as one of the five winning images of the week for the 500th Sinful Sunday. I am immensely grateful for this safe space where I have had the opportunity to explore my self image through photos.
The winners tweet on Thursday as a bright high point in an otherwise long week…one I’m very grateful for as it means work is going well and my new carer team for my children is settling in. It’s also tricky because this week of the year marks the anniversary of a bereavement that I mark, not by the date but by a certain tv landmark. I came home from hospital, having delivered my third child, without them, and curled up in bed while Children in Need played. When I was a child this always felt like a very positive, entertaining evening, as much a of marker of the season as Halloween. Now, I have three children who use services that are supported by the charity and will forever associate the evening with the ache of empty arms.
This weekend I’ve ripped the house apart cleaning, for me, a, sign of being unsettled. This evening I’ve followed it up with an evening of self care- a nice steak, some repetitive tele and a warm blanket to snuggle in.
I could do with a hug. Come snuggle up with me.